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‘Not tonight darling, I came six times today.’ The orgasm machine – is this the answer to female sexual bliss? Cadillac Carter looks at its potential impact.

It’s finally arrived – every woman’s dream machine – a device that gives you an orgasm at the flick of a switch. Imagine. . . you’re in the supermarket and as you reach for a tin of baked beans you find yourself having a mind blowing hands-free orgasm. Chatting at check out with the woman whose trolley is full of organic, you realise you’ve both orgasmed simultaneously in the same aisle. This is a bonding moment and you swap phone numbers. Meanwhile the cashier, with post-orgasmic glow, hands you your change, smiling serenely.

This scenario is not as far-fetched as it may seem, but we have a long way to go before we get there. Why? Because the next battle of the sexes will be a fight over who owns the female orgasm and this device will kick it off. All thanks to a little-known doctor in the States who, until now, has been beavering away at pain relief.

Dr Stuart Meloy is fast becoming the man most women want to meet. The remote control orgasm first came to light when one of his female patients did a Harry met Sally on the operating table. He was implanting electrodes into her spine that would enable her to control her pain, when she went into a full-blown orgasm. He immediately patented the machine and Medtronic, a medical technology company, now owns the controlling interest. When it finally comes on the market – and it will – women will be able to have a cigarette-sized generator implanted in their buttocks, which will be triggered by a hand-held remote control.

When Dr Meloy says the machine will only be available to women who have difficulty climaxing and will be programmed to limited use, he is already telling us what women over the centuries are aware of – that men want to control female sexuality. He thinks there won’t be much demand for his device, but I promise you – the hands-free electronic orgasm will be big business.